i want her to tripp me again
I adopted a puppy from a local shelter in August 2010. She was 2 1/2 months old. I was told that she was a Beagle/Terrier mix. She was mostly black with brown points like on a rotty and white on her chest and feet. She was the first pet I had had in over 3 years.
She was great with my kids even though she was just a puppy. She was so smart. She would do so many little things to make me smile everyday. She followed me like a shadow. I named her Tripp because she was always underfoot, wanting to be as close as possible at all times.
In December I went out of town to visit family. While I was gone my roommate let her out one day before she went somewhere. My roommate pulled out of our driveway and as she was leaving she hit Tripp. Tripp died on impact. I was told that it was an accident. That my roommate was upset to the point of hysteria. But in the back of my mind and the pit of my stomach I have the suspicion that it was not an accident. For some reason I feel that Tripp was murdered, not that she died in a tragic accident.
If you have any insight to this I would greatly appreciate your input. I don't know how to process this. This is the first time my pet hasn't died of old age. I just don't know what to do. I wear her collar as a bracelet so she is still close, not only in my heart but by my side. Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night wake up and am careful getting out of bed because I don't want to step on her. but she's not there. When I go outside to smoke i call her to she if she has to potty but she's gone. When i come back inside I call for her but she doesn't come.
Please, help me with this. I think i'm going crazy because I miss her so much.
Katie - I am so sorry for your loss, I know first-hand how heartbreaking it is to lose a puppy or dog, no matter what age they are. And when the loss is sudden, unexpected and tragic as this one was, it is even harder to bear.
From experience I know that it takes time for your heart to heal, and that there's really nothing anyone can say or do that will make the heartache go away. However, if it helps in any way at all I would have to say that I doubt Tripp's accident was anything other than an accident. I know some people are cruel and hurt animals, but I can't imagine that someone who was close to you would deliberately try to hurt/kill your beloved pet. Accidents happen, every day, I lost a dog who was let out of the back yard by someone else and hit by a car before we could get to her, so I do appreciate how you feel. However, your pup died instantaneously she didn't suffer - plus dogs don't anticipate the future, or know what death is, which is a blessing.
I think perhaps your grief is making your mind play tricks on you, it can happen. If you absolutely can't function due to being so heartbroken please talk to someone close to you, or even to your doctor, and ask for help.
It's normal to be very sad, to cry, to wish things were different, to expect to see your pet in their usual places and to feel a big sense of loss deep in your heart. But, time does help the pain fade, although you will never forget Tripp you will be able to remember her without that gut-wrenching pain.
Try to remember the good times rather than the end of her life, and remember that she was loved and she knew it! That you gave her a good life and shared a lot of wonderful moments, nothing can take those away from you. She loved you and she wouldn't want for you to be so sad.
If things just seem too much and time doesn't help, please get some 'hands-on' help to feel better. God Bless.